Monday, September 20, 2004


Last week Vali's Views reported that Jake's house on Main Street was the "tallest building in the world." As many of you pointed out, this is obviously incorrect.

Vali's Views apologizes for the error. -- Especially to Jake who, upon reading the post, spent several hundred thousand dollars to purchase his neighbor's house and convert it into a World's Tallest Building Museum. However, Vali's Views is still optimistic that the museum's gift shop sales will eventually make the investment worth it.


Junior said...

Praise should be awarded to this guy I work with who won's "RESIDENT EVIL: APOCALYPSE" contest with "Hesitant Anal: I Squat a Fist."

Anyone read Sullivan today?

Jack said...

Junior - that is very good news. Which of your fellow European professional basketball players on the Azovmash Mariupol came up with that one? Was it Tang Hamilton?

SC said...

I wish someone would tell these Iraqis to stop beheading guys.

Jack said...

Conrad - what happened to you guys last night? You totally Ricoed on Don Hills so fast we didn't even see! You should have stayed; we went to Botanica.

Also, Steedman claims that there was a murder outside our apartment last night. Does anyone here work for the NYPD and want to corroborate that?

v.DANGER said...

Jack & Junior:

DC and I will be visiting NYC during the weekend of Oct. 1st. We were hoping to have a plan for Saturday night that would allow us to "hang" with as many people as possible. The following options have been suggested by one of our associates:

(1) A party is thrown in the new Jost-Reisig apartment.
(2) A party is thrown in the Jack-Junion-Steedman apartment.
(3) We tell everyone we know to converge on a centrally located bar.

What are your thought? Also, SC has expressed some interest in joining this NYC weekend excursion. Some prodding from you two could help seal the deal.

Jack said...

SC - come to New York; it's been, like, a week. I can't form a conclusive opinion on the New Yorker festival, but that's certainly something to do.

v. DANGER - I feel really silly typing your name. Anyways, re: party location, I'm going to volunteer Jost and Reisig for this, because (a) we just had a party, and it was so awesome it blew everyone's mind, so I don't want to clean again and (b) Jost and Reisig should wait to buy any furniture until you and DC come to town and have an awesome tarp party then after the awesome party is done, hire a maid service to come through the place and clean everything, that way their apartment will be nice for them and then they can paint and then they can buy furniture.

Alternate plan: Jost and Reisig host a painting party where everyone wears old clothes and paints their apartment for them in a variety of charming colors. Hooray! Best party ever, dudes, thank you so much for having us!

conrad said...


My sincerest sorries. We saw Eben b-lining for the door and followed suit. A clever feint on his part.

Now if you'll pardon me, the West Wing is on and I am unemployed.