Wednesday, October 20, 2004

Nobel Peace Prize

I think a good way to select the winner of the Nobel Peace Prize would be to bring the two finalists up and tell them that the winner will be determined by a wrestling match. The wrestling match would, obviously, be great. After a couple of minutes one of the nominees would pin the other and the crowd would go crazy. Then, someone could quiet the crowd down and announce, “Actually, the loser of the wrestling match is the greater lover of peace. The Nobel Prize goes to him.”

Now, I know this plan isn't foolproof. So, if someone else has a better plan to get the Nobel Peace Prize awarded to Steve Urkel, I'm all ears.


v.DANGER said...


If you are reading this, you are wasting valuble seconds that should be used to update Somenotions.

Jack said...

SC -

If you are reading this, then you are wasting valuable seconds you could be using buying patchoulli oil, dubbing Grateful Dead concert recordings, and drawing on yourself with a highlighter so that you glow under blacklight. (You are a pothead).

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

regarding the original intent of these message boards, unobstructed views discussions, i have a question for ben. amongst a sea of sportswriters, how does espn page 2's bill simmons deserve the moniker "the sports guy?" isn't it so broad as to be undescriptive of bill simmons in particular and un-eliminative of all other sports writers, nay sports enthusiasts in general? if he truly is some featureless mean, perhaps bill simmons's new nickname ought to be the "sports borg."

SC said...

Townsie - To paraphrase Herodotus, shit or get off the pot. The blogosphere is a land of producers, not vile looters who profit off other's labour. I would expect an Ayn Rand devotee such as yourself to surmise as much. So stop hollering profantiy at every Interweb streetcorner you come across, and start your own fucking webplace. My suggestion - devote it to verbalizing hatred of riffcentral.

NBS said...

i disagree with that suggestion (at least for now)

Anonymous said...

I liked the original ending better.

-A Frequent Reader

v.DANGER said...

A Frequent Reader:

I'm impressed. But really?

In any case, I had to change the ending as one of Vali's Views' corporate sponsors threatened to pull the plug. Call me a sellout if you want. But It'll be a cold day in hell when I start paying for my washcloths like a commoner.