Monday, November 15, 2004

New element discovered

Cambridge, Massachusetts (AP) – Harvard University scientists announced the discovery of a new element today. The element was discovered when the scientists were looking at a periodic table and noticed a square, labeled Ununpentium, which they hadn’t noticed before. The scientists responded to questions about the properties of the new element with shrugs and, occasionally, swear words directed at the questioner.


Anonymous said...


thanks for the tip this morning. i became curious and ran a few experiments and -- well, check out my results for yourself at

keep the hot leads coming.


v.DANGER said...


Professor Zanzibar must be turning in his grave, knowing that the knowledge he, so generously, gave to you is being employed for such nefarious ends.

What happened to you? I remember a time when townsie, the evil genius, was just townsie, the bad genius. Come back to us, townsie. Come back.

SC said...

Townsage - Remember when you claimed there was a big floating island of garbage off the coast of Hawaii that was like ten times the size of Oregon or some shit? Did you ever verify that?